Title: Grim
Tagline: This aint no fairy tale.
Length: 86
minutes
Producer: A-Pix Entertainment
Those rotten bastards at A-Pix have struck again. Oh, yeah, the same people who brought you Jack Frost bring you an even more regoddamndiculous monster in Grim. A troll. This thing is covered in crap and looks like ass. Like most trolls, Grim hangs out in a cave and kidnaps people for butchering and eating. But, this troll has *magical damn powers*, and can teleport via dimensional doorway to other places and kidnap victims. So, that's what this walking shit-pile does. But, Grim seems to have trouble teleporting his way back, because, at a few points, we see the big moron wandering around the woods, crushing crappy props under his latex feet the whole way back to his crack-ass cave. Stupid ass.
Anyway, enough about Grim, let's talk about our main characters.
Lame, white, spelunking motherfuckers.
That said, let us return to the plot. The main two characters, for a good part of the movie, act as though they're ex-somethings. Ex-lovers, ex-whatever, it's never explained (or, if it is, I don't really give a rat's ass). On top of that, two of the other spelunker team are into "New Age" stuff and psychic powers. The remaining two are just there for no other reason than to be fodder for the killer troll.
Basically: Lame, white, spelunking motherfuckers.
I suggest that you never watch this movie. If you see it on the shelves, forget that you did, and walk away quickly. I'm of the mind that you should leave the video store altogether. Maybe even the city you're in. Or even the county. The point is, if you value your eyes (and by "value," I mean "Not tearing out"), then do not rent this.